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TailPufft's Vegan Carrot Cake

Ingredients

Crust

Filling

Caramel

Directions

  1. Crust first because you gotta chill it.
  2. Dump flour, salt, and sugar into a bowl and mix together.
  3. Add your butter / shortening.
  4. Take a pint glass, jam it full with ice, and pour enough whiskey into it to fill the cracks
  5. Get your pastery cutter (aka pastry blender) and start chopping the butter chunks into the flour. Keep going until each bit of floury butter bit is no bigger than a pea.
  6. Take your chilled whiskey and slowly dribble it into the dough. Mix it together by hand, but don't squish it too much. This is more of a shred and stack game. Too much Play Doh style squishing and your crust will not be flakey. No flakes on your crust == SHAME.
  7. After about 1/2 cup or so of the chilled whsieky, your dough should be coming together.
  8. Form into an overweight frisbee and ut it in the freezer. You don't roll out warm pie crust, only cold.
  9. Alcohol is better than ice water for pastry crusts because the alcohol causes better seperation of the dough layers when it's baking.
  10. No, the alcohol does not bake out. This is just the most FANTASTIC lie.
  11. Wash, peel, and dice the apples.
  12. Cook until soft on the stove with some sugar, cinnamon, and more whiskey to taste. Y'all do what you want with your cinnamon / whiskey levels but...go big or go home.
  13. Roll out pie dough to make small circles, use your pie press a sa template
  14. Now turn on your oven to 400
  15. Fill your wee pies with apple filling
  16. Set on parchment covered cookie sheet, slice some small (SMALL, DAMNIT) vents, and brush with egg wash
  17. Bake for 18-22 minutes

Caramel Cooking

  1. Once part of the mixture starts turning golden, you slowly stir in the cream and turn the heat to low. (Yes, NOW stir.) Don't let it turn brown, you will smell it right away if you burned it. If you burn it, start over.

  2. Step 9 is by tself because that's the dramatic part of this. Once the cream hits the hot sugar, it's goign to bubble up and hiss at you. Right when its scaring you is when I also want you to turn the heat down. But it's okay, you got this. You are going to slowly pour in that cream, slowly stir the hissing firt that results, and you are going to reach over and turn the heat down.

  3. Once the major drama subsides, slowly pour in the whiskey. It may fizz a bti at this too, but you are almost done. This will not be hot enough to ignite.

  4. Turn the heat off, move to a cold burner, and keep gently stiring. If any hard lumps of sugar occur (damn sea monsters) just fish those out and toss 'em.

  5. Let your caramel cool enough to handle and drizzle it over your pies.

  6. Have a shot. You earned it!